Team Mary, Team Bobby, Teammate

The May suicide by hanging of Mary Richardson Kennedy, estranged wife of environmental attorney Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., has been distracting me all week. The family lives in my area. I met Mary several times years ago. She seemed like a sweet soul. I interviewed RFK Jr. for a publication. He seemed committed to his cause. This was a prominent couple, one half of which had a prominent career and a prominent name. Things happened, time passed, they grew apart, and she pursued a very sad path.

Being involved in the publishing industry, and living in a small town, I’d heard the gossip. Their history is a reminder for any lawyer with a big career: Whether and to what extent does a big-dog lawyer want to create and maintain a satisfying home life? Should a cheerleader/caretaker life partner be selected, or someone with an equally prominent position? Either choice poses hazards: one spouse can be stuck at home while the other forges ahead; or both partners are gone every day while nannies tend the children. Finding the right balance is difficult even if one partner doesn’t have a great job. But Mary Kennedy’s suicide reminds us all to work as hard on our home lives as we do in our offices. Make use of down time. If a significant other is struggling, pay attention. Ratcheting back a big law career a notch or two might yield more satisfaction and a better life in the long run.